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What
do American beer and a rowing-boat have in common? - They're both
close to water.
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Without
question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
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I
drink to make other people interesting.
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A
woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank
her.
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When
I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading
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You're
not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
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A
little man walked into a bar and slipped on a pile of dog poo
by the door. Moments later, a burly biker came in and slipped
on it as well. ". The little man said: "I just did that."
and the biker hit him.
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One more drink and I'd be under the host.
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A
man had spent all day drinking in a bar. By ten o'clock at night,
he was blind drunk but still wanted more. However he had run out
of money. "I must have another drink," he told the bartender.
"Can't you put it on the slate?"
Once again a drunk was standing there, leaning against the wall
and looking decidedly the worse for wear. But before the samaritan
could do anything, the drunk I staggered over to a passing police
officer and said: "Officer, protect me from thisman. He keeps
taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"
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drunk staggered into a Catholic church and ended up in the confession
booth. After a few moments, the priest said: "What do you
need my son?" The drunk asked: "Is there any paper on
your side?"
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